Archive for September, 2010

What you need right now

How to Negotiate | September 30, 2010

“Just a little patience” – Axl Rose (Well, Izzy Stradlin really, but who would remember it without Axl?)


Patience: The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset


I get asked the following question a lot so I thought I’d answer it publicly.

“Dino, what is the one thing that a person must have if they want to be financially successful?” The answer?  Many things. But if I had to pick one, it would be patience.

A lack of patience puts you in a bad place, not just financially, but in everything you do. If you are not patient, you automatically and autonomically change your goals without even being aware of it.

Sure, you may think your goal is to negotiate a great price for yourself on a new purchase. But in truth, a lack of patience automatically turns your goal into “finishing the process quickly.” You may not recognize that. You may not feel it happening. But I can assure you that it is happening. Not only that. Each time you show a lack of patience in negotiation (or anything else), you are reinforcing one of the most damaging processes there is.

A lack of patience has become a universal affliction. We see it in government. We see it in business. We see it in communities and we see it in people. Usually, the only place that we don’t see it is in ourselves. The interesting thing is that other people see it clearly in you. Even when they don’t, they make an educated bet that you do not have patience. You don’t believe me?

Why do you think you have to push buttons and wait on hold to get “customer service”?

Why do you think the salesman at the car dealership asks you to wait while he “speaks with a manager”?  Why do you think he repeats that process each time anything new comes up?

Why does a realtor tell a buyer “this house won’t last” without mentioning how long it has already lasted?

You know why. Because they are playing the percentages with you. Because most likely it will work. And if it doesn’t? They’ll try again next time because eventually you will succumb to your lack of patience. At some point, you will have the process dictate to you rather than you dictating the process. Isn’t that sad? Not just what people do to you but what you do to people.

You do it too. If you want something or are selling something, you use the same technique because you inherently know that it works. And it is in this way that we all participate in the perpetuation of the lack of patience in society. If you want to learn patience you better figure out how to do it. You must start by being patient with yourself. You need to not criticize yourself for being whatever it is that you keep telling yourself that you are. You need to learn to be able to enjoy the process. Life is filled with ups, downs and sometimes sideways. That’s the fact. Start by accepting that and go from there. Try yoga or meditation or tai chi or visualization. It is sometimes comical when I suggest that and the response I get is “I don’t have time for that”. Yup….and here we are and here we will be until you do.

In the meantime, make a deal with yourself. Any time you decide to buy something, do this. Resolve to walk away from any deal, product or service in which the salesperson uses the lack of patience technique on you. And one more thing……….. keep this in mind and use it regularly “If you need an answer today, the answer is no.” Doing this will most likely make you very uncomfortable. Good! That is a sign of true change happening. And remember, your job is not to end the process as quickly as you can. Your job, is to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you can master that, then you have something that no one would ever be able to sell you.

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Financial Success

The Psychology of Money | September 17, 2010

“Success is uncommon. Therefore, it cannot be enjoyed by a common person.” – Unknown

Do you have what it takes to be financially successful? Do you know what it means to be financially successful? If you think earning or having a lot of money makes you a financial success, well……. you may have some changes to make.

The simple act of earning or possessing money does not constitute financial success. Earning and possessing money tends to be a very dynamic and often transient process. We all know someone that has more than we do. It doesn’t matter how much you have, there are others with more. Money that is. The interesting thing is that more often than not, I find that the folks with the most money also have the most problems. That is where today’s quote comes in.

It is quite common to have a lot of money. If you live in America and you are reading this on your computer or smartphone, then you have more money than most of the rest of the world’s inhabitants. But you probably don’t see that. If you are like most people in our society, you see only what you don’t have. It is highly likely that the things you do have are often taken for granted. Their importance to your daily existence is not regularly acknowledged. For most of the people that I see professionally, the root cause of the problems that they bring to me is usually related to lack of gratitude. These are nice people. Well thought of in the community. They have plenty of money and could have excellent financial positions. Unfortunately, often they don’t because their focus is on what they don’t have instead of what they do have. They think about “compounding” rather than “methodically growing”. The former requires risk taking. The latter patience.

Who has time for patience when the Jones’ and the Smith’s are pulling ahead? Or are they?

I wonder if you have ever actually taken the time to think about these two things?

1) Are my friends, co workers and neighbors actually doing better than I am financially because they have a nicer car and go on more vacations? Or, is it possible that they just spend a lot more money than I do in order to look or feel more successful than they are?

2) Why am I impacted by what friends, co workers and neighbors do?

Truly, only the second question is relevant to someone seeking success. I only mention the first in order to illustrate a point. It is so easy to assume that everyone else is doing better than you when you focus on material things as a way of keeping score. True financial success is financial security. My definition of financial security is: having the things you need, a few things you really want and enough money to confidently keep you in that state moving forward. If you have more than that, good for you. But you don’t need more than that. Acknowledging that fact is the first step in financial success.

So here is a thought to consider…….. If just for today you were able to let go of chasing money, what else would you have time for?

True financial success is having the money you need, not the money you want. True financial success allows you to do the things in life that are important to you. If you agree, then it is time to change. It is time to acknowledge. It is time to reset your goals. Mostly, it is time to start saving more and spending less. Because while your friends and neighbors are buying the things they want, you can be confidently saving for the thing you really need………. time.  You see, it is possible to buy time. It is just highly uncommon.

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“Simplicity is the Ultimate Sophistication”

The Psychology of Money | September 3, 2010

The title of today’s entry is a quote made famous by Leonardo Da Vinci. It seems that even back in Leonardo’s day, people were faced with too many choices, too many possessions and too much to think about. I wonder what Mr. Da Vinci would think if he were alive today? Maybe he is and he is trying to tell us the same thing through another medium? If so, the word’s “I told you so” must be a part of his presentation. There is no doubt that choices create paralysis. People want simple. Don’t you?

If you answered yes, then why do things often seem so complex? Have you ever thought about that?

Let me explain one answer to you. It’s on purpose. Laws are purposely written to be confusing. Then you’ll need a lawyer to translate for you. Who wrote the laws? Lawyers did.

Oh, did you think that was a coincidence?

Did you know that there are millions of people that keep their money either in cash under their bed or in a bank account that gives them basically the same return as if they kept their money under their bed? Why? Simple. Because they don’t know what to do with their money. Why? Because they are scared. Why? Because they are confused. Why? Too many choices.

So in order to delay feeling the fear they delay making a decision. Do you do this?

Since you come here for advice, let me give you some. Change your thinking. Every day that goes by with your money in a bank account is another wasted financial opportunity. If you were investing in quality stocks right now (rather than in your stagnant bank account) you would be making progress even if the market was going down. Why? Simple.

Even in a declining stock market, an investor is making progress because he is picking up quality stock at reasonable prices. The more you buy at lower prices, the more you’ll make later when values go up. And they always do. Did I just say “always”. Yes I did. I didn’t say they “only” go up. I said they “always” go up. And anything that goes up, must eventually come down. If you have been following the action, then you know the market has been down from it’s highs of the past few years. Does it make sense that you would buy “low” and sell “high”? If so, now is the time to be buying. You buy when the market is low. You sell when the market is high. Simple. Even more simple is that if you had a good broker doing it for you, it would be getting done with no need for you to do anything but contribute some money regularly.

Could it be any simpler than that?

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